Hatred fuelled eyes cut
Across stale air.
White van man
Shoots
Past.
Too fast,
Too close.
‘Thanks for that,
I was already having a stupendous day,
Walking through the rain
While you sit
In your warm dry seat.
Driving
like a fucking God’
River thick road to cross.
Red light,
green man
and cross.
Without a thought.
Sodden skin under jeans moan,
irritated, restricted.
Nicotine clouds hang low.
Concrete haze of earthy grey
light intensifies
Depression.
No lights, another river to cross.
Take your time,
get drenched by mechanical killing machines
darting past, double the limit.
Wait and hate
and curse
the dry
that don’t waste a second
on you.
Elephant birds bellow
above head.
‘Welcome to London’
the captain said.
‘One of the biggest and best cities in the world’.
http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/2011/03/poetry-potluck-idols-role-models-and.html
http://onestoppoetry.com/2011/03/one-shot-poetry-wednesday-celebrating-our-36th-week.html
love London.
ReplyDeletewhat an inviting piece. enjoyed your friendliness.
A++
have fun.
Jingle
http://www.jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/
great take on a 'nice' city.. thank you for sharing this.. my potluck- http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2011/03/08/nectar-from-heaven/
ReplyDeleteStructure works really well! Love the way you've broken it up xx
ReplyDeleteha. love the tongue in cheek nature of this...all the junk you have to go through to get to the greatest...
ReplyDeleteBoy, your descriptions are nice...
ReplyDeleteI really liked this line, "and curse the dry that don't waste a second on you..." :)
Thanks for the feedback guys! I've gotta say, I think this poem is a pretty bleak point of view, but it doesn't sound like everyone is seeing the same thing which is interesting. Thanks again- feedback is so important. :)
ReplyDelete...‘Welcome to London’
ReplyDeletethe captain said.
‘One of the biggest and best cities in the world’...
Super. Like the start of a film...a fantastic animation of the story of the dark figure in the lights.
Great construction, it's a great poem.
Indeed, a bleak poem. However, the element of sarcasm reveals a unique poetic voice. Excellent depiction of the city as seen from the vantage of depression, though it's the humor in the sarcasm that seems to reveal hope.
ReplyDeleteGreat observations. Sorry you had to get so wet to write it :)
ReplyDelete@Kolembo- Thank you! Haha! I strive to achieve such visuals in my poetry. :)
ReplyDelete@Dustus- Thanks for the insight- I think you just pointed something out to me that I had done without realising. :)
@Wordasunder- LOL! Love it. :P
Thanks for taking the time people!
well with you on this...I am an essex man...worked in the city for 16 years...and we know onky too well off its overspill done this way...really good poem...good flow too...cheers pete
ReplyDeleteExcellent, with a perfect capper line.
ReplyDelete