Monday, 28 November 2011
Things that really piss me off/irritate me include:
1. Heavy footedness. Is there any need? You're not a fucking elephant so try treading a little lighter. Thanks.
2. You have a stomach bug, yet are constantly asked- 'Oh, have you eaten something that hasn't agreed with you?' ...NO! I HAVE A BUG!
3. The Saturdays... what a personality-less, boring group of mediocre girls singing dull as arse songs.
4. When people can't accept a difference of opinion and they feel the need to argue with you that your view is WRONG. We are allowed to disagree. Get a grip.
5. Defensiveness when it really isn't needed. A sign of a good friendship is being able to disagree and share different points of view. You should be able to criticise each other and bring up absolutely anything- like if I owe you a tenner, remind me I owe you a tenner. If that top looks shit on you and you ask, I will tell you.
6. Being asked if I want children. Replying 'Oh God no, I could never be a parent, I'm not big on children.' and getting the response 'But there are ways you can have kids now, aren't there?' Did you not hear me?
7. People that don't like Kylie Minogue. I just don't get it.
8. Wheat irritates the fuck out of me. Quite literally. My insides go into meltdown.
9. Being the only single at a party. Really guys? If you're inviting me to a party of 14 other people and they are all with their other halves, do you not think you should mention this to me? At least then I could prepare and invite a friend along. I am worryingly becoming Bridget Jones.
10. People with straight hair. Bastards.
11. Sookie Stackhouse's narration in the True Blood books. I'm sorry, I love the show and want to read all of the books, but by the second book, I felt like burning the lot. 'There was something I had to do. Part of me stood back in amazement at my own stupidity as I pulled on some shorts and a T-shirt and slid my feet into sandals. I looked even worse in the mirror, to which I gave only a sideways glance. I stood with my back to it to brush my hair.' Charlaine Harris writes at the opening of Chapter Seven. Don't get me wrong, you can't fault the detail, and the stories are brilliant, but reading them ALL from Sookie's point of view who feels the need to tell you every tiny little laborious detail about getting dressed every few pages is mind-numbing and about as gripping as a lake of ice.
12. When people make up bullshit excuses to get out of things. Just be honest. If you don't fancy doing something, you are allowed to say 'Actually I really don't feel like it anymore, sorry', not say 'Oh shit hun, I didn't realise but I've got no money left and I'm not feeling well and I forgot that I was meant to blah blah blah.' Why lie??
13. And on that note- bullshitters. I can not count the amount of times that I have had to listen to people blatantly massively exaggerating and bullshitting their way through a story. I don't know who they are trying to impress. And it's so obvious they are bullshitting too. Weird.
14. When people mock you for liking certain bands/music/tv etc. What are we? At first school? Really?
15. Critical comments that are quite tactless when they are not asked for. I used to work with someone who would actually say 'Oh James, you've put on weight, haven't you?' and 'Nope, sorry, I don't like the new hair colour'. Fucking bitch. There was no polite way to say 'Well, I actually think you look like a fucking moose and couldn't give two shits what your opinion is' unfortunately.
16. Men that say they have 'Man-Flu'. Do they not understand that man-flu is not an actual illness but is used to describe a man making out that he is really ill when he has a simple cold? I hear so many guys so 'I've got man-flu' and they are being deadly serious. Uneducated knobs.
17. 'You need to drive'. Well actually I don't. I'm in the twenty-seventh year on this earth and so far I have coped just fine without being a driver. I don't have kids and always live within walking distance of town and a train station. Driving is so ludicrously expensive and lazy.
18. Louis Walsh being the only original X Factor judge. He is so wet, clueless and never says anything of any interest. Why Simon Cowell renews his contract over and over again, I have no idea. I miss Dannii, Cheryl, Sharon and even Simon.
19. 'You'll find someone when you least expect it and aren't looking for anyone.' I have been single for eight years. Do you think I have been expecting to find someone that entire time or looking? No. I'd say I've spent about seven of those eight years quite accepting of my singledom. The biggest pile of bullshit thing to say to someone that says their single. Maybe I won't find anyone, ever! You have no fucking idea.
I think 19 points will do for now. Mainly because I really need the loo. That also annoys me.
Sunday, 30 October 2011
The last time it was dark by 1730 on a Sunday afternoon I was living with Chloe in a large old Victorian flat in KT1. Now I am sitting here at my Dad's house in my hometown with the 'King's Speech' mumbling away in the background and I have to say, I think without the Hull episode earlier this summer, there is no way that I would have been content with sitting here right now. So yes, 2011 has been quite a roller-coaster of a year so far, but has certainly lead to me knowing myself better than ever. I understand better what drives me and makes me happy, what saddens and upsets me, where I like to be, who I like to be around, how much of myself to present in different situations and when people and places are and are not worth my time.
Now with graduation looming just around the corner, I can mark this period with a suitable and formal celebratory ending and beginning. Farewell to my life as an uneducated and troubled youngster and hello to James, an adult who knows exactly who he is and hasn't done too badly for himself at all.
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
Tuesday, 13 September 2011
It had been quite sometime since my last update, yet when I tried, all I could put together was this. So yes, in a nutshell, feeling like my degree is pretty much worthless in the sense of getting a decent job in the now as a writer. I keep looking at fellow Kingston University students online portfolios and archives and am blown away. The students that seem to be getting somewhere are the journalism students. Us creative writers alone, don't seem to be half as up on what they are up on. I'm now thinking I should have studied Creative Writing and Journalism instead of English Literature, but we can't change that now. I did love my course, I just hadn't given much thought to the technicalities of employment afterwards. Of course I can chase the freelancer dream, but as we were told in class, you have to have a day job for several years before you can have any hope of living off what you make as a freelance writer.
Friday, 12 August 2011
Over the past four days I have spent every day catching up with friends and remembering my place in the world. These are the people that made me. These are the people that shaped me and have never judged. These people are my family- the one I have created for myself. Life without the people you hold dearest is a lot harder than I ever thought it could be. And it doesn't mean you don't care deeply for the people you have left elsewhere, but you need to be around the people that are driven by what you are driven by, enjoy what you enjoy and share a similar attitude for life. It is those shared values that lead to a happy existence- or at least that is what I have learned.
Beyond the people, it is also such a relief to feel happy and confident about leaving the house. The view out of my window right now is green- with hoards of trees and hills and fields. The walk home is down a dirt track, surrounded by woodland and nature- it feels so sacred and unexplored, like nothing a city can offer. The town is brimming with pubs and local restaurants, which by 27, is more than adequate to satisfy my social needs. What I spent so long trying to get away from when I was in my late teens and early twenties, is exactly what I have run back to now that I have experienced city life. London is an hour away and I am ok with that.
Saturday, 6 August 2011
It's important to consider what we learn as we endure difficult times. My experience in Hull has been largely disastrous. I found that the city had very little opportunity and that living in such a congested deprived place had massive implications on my mental stability. But the whole episode has taught me some very important things.
- I can honestly say, with total confidence, that I know myself better than ever. Being taken out of my comfort zone of the south made me sit up and accept who I am. I'm a southern boy, someone that is used to living in or right next to London, and I have trouble being in less accepting or multicultural surroundings.
- A break from being in London was definitely needed so that I could appreciate everything the capital has to offer.
- My friends are the most important thing in my life. Being two hundred miles from all of the people I consider close friends was the most challenging and upsetting thing of all. I am a single and independent man, but my friends are everything to me. I didn't realise just how much so until now.
- I'd rather be broke and in a town I like and near my friends, than in a place I can't stand and be sorting out my finances.
- Life is too short to be sensible if it comes at the cost of your own happiness.
- Do not feel guilty about your choices. It is your life and will effect you more than anyone else.
- If you are unhappy and you need to change something, do it. I cannot stand it when people do nothing but complain, but never do anything to resolve their problems.
- I have a very short fuse with people in my own home. When I am at home I like to switch off. I don't take kindly to having my personal time or space invaded.
- I'm actually a pretty sociable person, but only around certain people. I am not one you can take out and can be the guaranteed soul of the party. It is very dependent on the people I am mixing with and the place.
- I would rather live in the middle of central London and risk being in a high risk terrorism area than be bored to death in Hull.
- I seriously dislike the North East of England and Hull in general.
- I'd rather live in a tiny room with virtually no possessions in London, than have a large room full of belongings in the north.
- People from Hull are so different to those from London that you could literally be in a foreign country. The culture is stuck somewhere in the 1990s. There's a lot of chavs and a lot of indie kids. And that's about it.
- Racism and homophobia appear to be more accepted in Hull than anywhere else I've been. As in people make racist comments and expect you to agree with them. It is appalling.
I shan't go on as I can feel myself ranting on and on about how uneducated and grim people are in Hull and I'm sure I've already got my point across. Ultimately, I appreciate what I have in the south more than ever and I am itching to get back and make the most of it.