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The writing blog of James Christopher Sheppard. I am a 26 year old gay male from London, UK. Here I present my experiences, poems, thoughts and opinions...

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Tuesday 21 December 2010

Haunting Past

I don’t know if it’s the life writing project I am currently in the midst of or if it’s the crossroads I am stood at in my life, but there are episodes and people from the past ten years that are on my mind more than ever. What did happen? Was I wrong to walk away from certain people at pivotal moments? What, if anything, do they think or remember of me? In my first serious relationship in 2002, I couldn’t accept its breakdown as I pleaded that one day we would die and the other one would be confronted with this and by then it would be too late. Over-dramatic maybe, but there is some harsh truth to it. We choose to eclipse people from our day to day lives, but if we were told later on that they had died, how would we feel about cutting them out? Are there people that we were once inseparable from that we will now never see again? Never speak another word to? Never know what they achieved or who they married or if they ever succeeded on their great life plan? I’m sure a large proportion of people we do loose along our paths are gone for good reason, but some, looking back ten years later, seem a great shame. 

4 comments:

  1. Thank you. :) I wish I could put all this from my mind so I could concentrate on my essay! x

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  2. Why don't you put it in there? It is something we all have to wrestle with from to time to time and yet nobody voices it. And you have done it so articulately too! x

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  3. I think I shall my love. The mentality of an 18 year old is certainly a fascinating thing to delve back into! x

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