Welcome

The writing blog of James Christopher Sheppard. I am a 26 year old gay male from London, UK. Here I present my experiences, poems, thoughts and opinions...

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Saturday 20 November 2010

A brief history- Who I am.

Where and how to begin is often the hardest part. I suppose I should introduce myself; My name is James Christopher Sheppard and I am an aspiring writer. I entered the world in 1984, born to Lisa and Kevin Sheppard and was raised in a small English village on the Surrey/West Sussex border called Dormansland. It really was not as quaint as it sounds. Despite being from the richest county in country, we lived in a council house in an estate called New Farthingdale. It wasn't bad, so long as the horrendous disrespectful youths weren't on the street. That's why I always preferred the winter; generally after 5pm they would be indoors in the warm, so while the streets may have been paved with ice and the light was eclipsed from the quiet country paths, I felt the safest I would feel all year.

You've probably already guessed that I was target number one for being bullied when I was younger. I was fat, camp and totally uncool. I was obsessed with Kylie Minogue and Mariah Carey and felt no shame in covering my school books in Kylie and Mariah orientated doodles. I had literally no dress sense or sense of style until I was 16. I was gay. Still am, in case you were wondering. Looking back, it's evident that I was withdrawing myself further and further away from a world I found horribly depressing and into my own little bubble of camp icons, writing poetry and lyrics, devoting any money I had into buying more and more CD's and spending most of my spare time compiling lists of my favourite songs and albums and subsequently creating mix tapes to listen to on my walkman which was my most cherished companion. Bottom line, I was a total loner. Still am to a certain degree. The reason I chose to upload a picture of my six year old self is because I am doing this for him. I wish I could go back to certain moments of my life and tell myself 'It will all be OK.', 'It get's better.', 'Hold on!', 'Don't despair', 'Stop wasting your time.' and 'Get your hair cut. Now.'.

Following an explosive coming out, which I am sure to will divulge at some point, I dropped out of college, fell in what I thought was love, got my heart broken, went to Australia for several months, then really fell in love, then had my heart smashed, then worked for a few years before moving to Kingston with the intention of becoming more educated and therefore fulfilled. Now I am pondering what is next. 

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2 comments:

  1. " The reason I chose to upload a picture of my six year old self is because I am doing this for him. I wish I could go back to certain moments of my life and tell myself 'It will all be OK.', 'It get's better.', 'Hold on!', 'Don't despair', 'Stop wasting your time.' and 'Get your hair cut. Now.'."

    Beautifully put and the reason I do all that I do...a younger Lucy had all her dreams squashed flat and was never taken seriously...I owe her... lovely first post! xx

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  2. Thank you my love! Well we have to go through the shit to come out on top sometimes don't we? At the end of it all, no matter what we have, we will appreciate it. :) xx

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